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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?